Dating vs. Married

When you’re dating, he is always on time, freshly shaved, smelling good and packing plenty of cash. She always has full eyeshadow, a trendy shirt and never eats more than half her meal. Once rings are exchanged, the smell-good stuff wears off and nobody can remember where the debit card is.

Here are a few examples of the many significant changes in dating versus married life.

Dating: He says “I’ll take you to the movies,  and we’ll watch anything you want.”
Married: He says “If you ever make me watch The Vow again, we’re done.”

Dating: “This full-size bed is all we need. Let’s never get a bigger mattress, okay?”
Married: “This new king-size bed is so awesome, last night I didn’t even know you were in it.”

Dating: She thinks Oh my gosh, I think I have gas! Hold it, hold it, hold it….he’s almost asleep….keep holding….yawn…it’s morning, we’re in the clear!
Married: She says “How mad would you be if I gave you a covered wagon?”

Dating: He says “Go ahead, honey, you can have the first heel shot.”
Married: He says “You better kick your horse up, ’cause we ain’t scared to cut off a pregnant lady.”

Dating: He says “Here, I’ll saddle your horse for you.”
Married: He says “Here, I’ll saddle your horse for you.”

I’m a lucky girl and I know it.

Dating: He says “Don’t worry about it; I got the check.”
Married: He says “Did you remember to bring my wallet?”

Dating: “How many kids do you want to have?”
“It doesn’t matter to me, honey. I want what you want.”
Married: “How many more kids do you want to have?”
“Shut up.”

Dating: She says “It doesn’t matter that there are holes in the walls and the carpet is more stained than not; this’ll do just fine for our first home.”
Married: She says “This place is a dump. If you get this job for the winter, I’m going to live in Elko and visit you on the weekends.”

Dating: She says “You’re so sexy when you scoop loop horses in town.”
Married: She says “You’re so sexy when you scoop loop horses in town.”

Dating: He says “Scoot over and I’ll back up the trailer.”
Married: He says “Learn. To. Use. Your. Mirrors.”

Dating: She says “No, babe, you haven’t gained any weight.”
Married: She says “Here’s that diet book you were talking about.”

Dating: He says “Pregnant ladies aren’t that crazy.”
Married: He says “No comment.”

Even though it is a whole different world with not nearly as many steak dinners at the Star, I’d take my married life over my single life any day. Just as long as I’m married to Jim. I kinda like being married to that guy.